I feel sad sometimes when something good happens to people I love and I don't feel happy from them... I know I should and I try, but sometimes there is this little voice asking: why was this not me? Why didn't this happen to me? I should be in their place...
It makes me sad and it makes me feel like I'm a bad person for being jealous of them. There was a recent event that made me cry real bad. It's actually a very silly thing, but I felt and still do feel a bit betrayed in a way and left out of things. And I know I will continue feeling that way.
It is hard when you do not have same opportunities as other people and when you simply can't afford to do something. And I know they try to understand me, but I can see that they don't always... It makes me feel like the odd one out sometimes. There was always something stopping me from doing and experiencing some things and people don't understand that because they don't have to deal with it.
I guess in life you have to rely on yourself only. God I sound so dramatic...
I just needed to put my feelings on the paper (virtual paper haha) it makes me feel like I've talked to someone...I'll get over it... I always do...
xx
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